I used to be very tomboyish and I grew up with all brothers and boy cousins in the country. I was surrounded by a heavy amount of male influencing lol so I did guyish things and activities alot of the time.
I like stereotypical male activities like video games, camping, BBQing, sports.
I use to think, feel and and say that I was a guy in a girls body lol. Because I was young and confused and thought that if I liked all those things and had thoughts matching them that that meant I was male but that wasn’t the case it was just because that was my environment it was all I ever knew and all I had the option to do so I adopted it and became it.
I felt I had a male mind/mentality but female emotions and body lol.
I went through a very long and intense tomboy phases but eventually the older I got and the more independent I got and the further I got away from my roots, the more feminine I became again and the more in touch with myself I became and well rounded energy wise.
Now that doesn’t mean I’m not still in touch with that masculine energy /side of me it just means that I’m much more balanced, and in control with both.
Now I can allow that energy to exist in me whilst still being a woman, and not have it be confusing or overwhelming, because I am independent from previous influencing and practice self love and expression.
So I know what it feels like to feel one way and then feel another, to feel male and female, I know that it is possible but I never felt drastically or deeply enough to change anything about my natural self, permanently.
Perhaps when some becomes out of touch or conditioned away from one of those leading energies due to what have you, like I had been, they might lose themselves to the other more predominant one, and something I also know that may relate to this is that when people feel lost or fear they sometimes panic and latch on to whatever it is they do know and feel at the time, which can be misleading or take them to some pretty far out places.
I think maybe when we start experiencing “trans” thoughts, contrasting thoughts to what we are generically supposed to be thinking and feeling according to society, we become very confused, defensive, and some may adopt our confusions or delusions as actual identities for ourselves as a means to make sense of it and feel emotionally/mentally stable.
Which is why we need to be looking at it from the perspective of fixing things mentally not physically because a physical change will not change what’s going on inside.
Maybe some people feel that it has to just be just one way and one energy, they don’t get that we have the option to embrace both while get still maintaining one single physical sexual identity. And that’s because they’ve been conditioned/taught to believe that the physical is what matters most and is what defines us, whilst simultaneously we’ve been conditioned/taught to live in a completely polarized and dualistic world.
And so society has almost set us up for these spiritual vs physical, failures and we don’t even realize it.
We get trapped in thinking things have to be physical and have to be polarized, while experiencing dual, unpolarized feelings that contrast it.
Someone will think if I don’t feel like a man then I must not be a man and I must therefore I must change my physicality to match these feeling, when alot of the times they are not even satisfied afterwards and are more upset then before.
What we really need is to just embrace and explore (and be allowed by others to embrace and explore) the spirituality, mentality, and emotions of the other side instead while still keeping our earth/god given bodies.
We are bred into a culture that wants to have it all, without evening knowing it, subconsciously we have been conditioned to yearn for and be attracted to both.
Different levels of effectiveness for different people. Some more susceptible then others, and that makes nobody weaker or stronger by know means, just unconscious of themselves and strength.
I’m very feminine and I’m very masculine but I wouldn’t change a single thing about my beautiful baby shoot or
I’m all for exploring the opposite sides spiritually, mentally, and emotionally, from the cozy confines of my unchanged body and I just don’t think it’s right to ask/want more than that.
I think it’s going to far and I personally would feel physically greedy and sinful for wanting that, like I was trying to have my cake and eat it you but with genders lol.
This was the life and journey I was given and I’m gonna respect that no matter how tough or confusing it is along the way, I am going to stick with myself & I’m not gonna fuck with mother nature.
The satanic God the Baphomet believed in living PHYSICALLY and I put emphasis on the physically as a male and female entity… now it is one thing to embrace both energies spiritually (which is what I’m saying to do) but is another entirely different thing to embrace and embody them both physically, and that i think is where you cross the line and when you’re fucking with nature and kinda insulting the universe/ our creator.
So again the goal is to master both energies emotionally, spiritually and mentally but love and accept the body you are gifted and given. because tahat respecting the laws and power of creation.
The baphomet/satan thrives off the energy cultivated when committing one of the seven deadly sins. Over indulgence is one of the most prevalent and active in today’s culture and Society, in my opinion. There is such a lack of modesty and such a need and desire to experience it all and have it all as i mentioned before.
But again I would think it to be both overindulgent and insulting to my Creator who gifted me this physical vessel & journey to experience.
You don’t fuck with the natural, and the physical yo that is what’s there to hold you down, to keep you centered, grounded, and connected to source. That’s why I think many of these people struggling with trans issues are so depressed, they’re making changes in the wrong places.
The other stuff like the spiritual, mental, emotional, that is there for you to explore and change and create yourself with, that is where your playground for experiencing and growth lies, and it’s a shame people miss out on because they’re stuck in a physical, dual mindset.
And it’s not their fault. Men are taught to disconnect from emotions. Women are taught to disconnect from their minds. Both are taught to disconnect from their spirit, and so we live in a physical, material, dualistic world. We cling to those concepts, we let them physically shape and define us, and that is wrong.
To me those much of those thoughts are like saying I’m unsatisfied with this masterpiece you created, it feels off, it’s not enough, and I want to change it.
Leave the master piece that is you alone, but allow yourself to live in and embrace all of the beautiful colours and aspects that came together to create you.
That is my spiritual, physical, personal rant. Not intended to offend anyone , just sharing my personal, and completely non-violent views lol.
Lots of love ❤